Week of 2004-10-10 - Week 4
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Sunday, October 10, 2004 1:45 PM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: About the need to act fasterDear Friend Reggie,
I receive your last mail.I am happy to understand that Mr Brutus Ray has felt more better about this transaction when he receive my Call To Bar certificate.
I truely understand your explanations about the split of the Us$6.5m on 50% for both parties.I have discussed and talk things over with my wife and we have agreed to split the money 50% with condition that both parties will as well share the necessary expenses like tax payment after we have secured the required documents and submit to the bank.
Please do let Mr Brutus know that we have agreed in the 50% split with the above condition.As a matter of fact,I will like you to understand that we have delayed much in this transaction and further delay to my understanding will not be for the best interest of our transaction.
I do hope that you will talk things over with Brutus Ray and send the $200 to me immediately.I will be expecting to receive the information of the western union money transfer from you in your return mail.Please send the money through western union with the below name and address:
Name:Okoye Chijioke Martins
Address:Suite 408 Eleganza Plaza Apapa,Lagos-Nigeria
Thanks and God bless you for your kind attention while I look forward to receive the money transfer informations next from you.Yours Friend
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Monday, October 11, 2004 12:37 PM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: About the need to act fastDear Friend Reggie,
How are you today? hope ok.I truely understand your explanation about your discussion with Mr Brutus Ray but I am also considering the need for us to try and conclude this transaction faster.
Please kindly understand my position and try your possible best to see what you can do to raise the money and send to me as arranged.I will like you also to understand the importance of this transaction and the need to hesitate in solving our problems.
I am seriously counting on this inheritance claim because I really understand the impact which the money will play in uplifting our family living standards which I consider as golden opportunity as well.
Thanks a lot for your kind attention and understanding as well.May God continue to guide and protect us through out our cordination in this regards while I am also looking forward to establish a life long mutual business relationship with you in the nearest future upon the conclussion of this claim.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Monday, October 11, 2004 7:24 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: About the need to act fast
Dear My Bestest Friend Barrister John Williams,
I'm sorry I haven't contacted you sooner, but Bunnie and I had a very moving experience at the Muslim Temple of Aledo on Sunday. As you know we converted to the Muslim faith two years ago and received our Muslim names this weekend. Bunnie has taken the name of Slappy McSlappy, named after the woman who introduced match.com dating services to the slaves building the pyramids in ancient Egypt. I have taken the name of the prophet, Snoop Dogg, who invented the Popeil Pocket Fisherman to help feed the starving people in Mesopotamia around 1100 BC. I was so emotional and started crying during the ceremony when I bit into the sacred limburger cheese and took a sip from the Mountain Dew goblet. I couldn't believe this day had finally arrived and Slappy feels the same way.
I purchased a magic lamp on eBay last week. When I got it I rubbed the lamp and the genie, named Barbara Eden, came out and agreed to give me three wishes. I wished for world peace, that my daughter Deion Sanders could be normal like other girls her age and that I could have six pack abs. I am very happy and have already lost two inches of fat around my belly.
I have the $200, but I could not locate a western union nearby. However, I went to the local American Embassy in Watauga and gave them my $200 bill in exchange for a $200 Certificate of Cash. I have attached this official document for you to print out. If you print out this certificate and take it down to the local American Embassy, they should be able to give you the $200 in cash. I apologize for this taking so long, but I know this transaction will be completed soon. Slappy and I are very excited.
Your Friend Snoop Dogg
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2004 2:18 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Please send the money through western union money transferDear Friend Reggie,
Thanks for your mail.I have noted your explanations about your newly converted faith in islam and I have also noted your new name.I am also happy to understand that you have finally raised the $200 and sent to me through Certificate of Cash.As a matter of fact,I will like you to understand that we do not know about Certificate of Cash here in Africa.You should understand that Africa is a developing country where we have no experience of Certificate of Cash.
I will like to inform you that I do not have means to get the money here because American Embassy here in located in Abuja which is about 9 hours drive from Lagos and I will advise you to re-call the money back from your end and send it to me through western union money transfer which have their office here in Lagos to enable me easily receive the cash.
I have already advised you to send the money to me through western union money transfer and you should not fail to attention the money to my personal assistant with name and address as follows to enabnle me send my personal assistant to the western union office here to get the money for me.Please send the money with name and address as follows:
Name:Okoye Chijioke Martins
Address:Suite 408 Eleganza Plaza Apapa,Lagos-Nigeria.
Please go and re-call the money back from American Embassy in Watauga and send the money to me through western union money transfer with the name and address as stated above.Thanks a lot for your good effort while I look forward to receive the money transfer informations.Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2004 8:51 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Please treat as urgentDear Friend Reggie,
I called you to discuss further about the need for you to send the money to me by western union money transfer due to the reasons as I earlier explain in my previous e-mail but a lady picked up the phone and I understand that she might be your wife Bunnie.
Please kindly understand my explanations and I will be happy to receive a good news from you soon about sendint the money with the name and address of my personal assitant Mr Okoye Chijioke Martins.
Thanks for your understanding.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Tuesday, October 12, 2004 7:53 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: Please treat as urgent
Dear My Very Best Friend Barrister John Williams,
Please refer to me by my Muslim name, Snoop Dogg, and my wife, Slappy McSlappy, in all future correspondence. Slappy told me about the phone call and is very mad at me. I haven't told her about any of this and now I am afraid of what she will do. She won't talk to me. I love Slappy and I would be very upset if she left me. Please don't call anymore since Slappy usually answers the phone.
I'm still very amped and have been wearing my "Hi, My Muslim Name is Snoop Dogg" tee shirt, that was presented to me at that emotional ceremony, almost all the time. My other daughter Shania is now auditioning for the "Muslim Girls Gone Wild - The Turbans Are Coming Off" movie that they will be shooting in this area in December. Slappy and I are praying that she makes the cut. Shania is very talented and has taught a lobster, hippopotamus and a junkyard dog(Fluffy) how to talk. Fluffy now reads me the Wall Street Journal every morning and has given me some hot internet stock tips.
I recently bought one of those mind control devices, that you see advertised on CNN all the time, to help keep the kids in line. I was eating lunch at the top of the Eiffel Tower, in Fort Worth, and noticed a man staring at me and wearing his own mind control device - but I recognize it as an older version that uses a Pentium II processor. I could barely move but I managed to get out my own mind control device, which uses a faster Pentium III processor, and was able to put it on. I knew he was a very bad man, so I stared back at him and thought about bad things. He then stood up, walked to the edge of the tower and then jumped off. I am very glad I paid the extra $50 for the new version of the device.
I am sorry about you having difficulty getting the money for the Certificate of Cash. The American government also has an arrangement with Hooters to cash in these certificates. Is there a Hooters in Lagos? I have contacted the American Embassy in Watauga and they said they can cancel the Certificate of Cash, but we have to submit a Cancellation of Certificate of Cash form before they do this. Can you sign the Cancellation of Certificate of Cash and email it back to me? Once you do this I can start looking for way to get the money to western union for you. I have attached the form for you to fill out.
Your Friend Snoop Dogg
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Wednesday, October 13, 2004 5:02 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: The Signed Cancellation of Certificate of CashDear Friend Snoop Dogg,
Thanks for your mail.I have signed the Cancellation of Certificate of Cash form document and attach it below to enable you get your money back from American Embassy in Watauga and send it to me through western union money transfer.
Please do not make a mistake anymore.You should send the money through western union money transfer attentioned to my personal assistant with name and address as follows:
Name:Okoye Chijioke Martins
Address:Suite 408 Eleganza Plaza Apapa,Lagos-NigeriaPlease kindly understand my explanations and I will be happy to receive a good news from you soon about sending the money with the name and address of my personal assitant Mr Okoye Chijioke Martins.
Thanks for your understanding.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Wednesday, October 13, 2004 8:06 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: The Signed Cancellation of Certificate of Cash
Dear My Very Best Friend Ever Barrister John Williams,
Brutus Ray told me is going to have a sex change operation. I was shocked, but have been wondering about all the George Michael posters in his garage, the rhinestones he has glued onto this wooden legs and wearing that string bikini around the house. My father said this was caused by taking Vioxx and has hired Jim Adler, "The Texas Hammer", to represent him in his lawsuit.
A couple of weeks ago granny died, but we didn't have the money to bury her. Slappy strapped her body into a La-Z-Boy chair, placed her in front of a TV and put on 100 hours of FOX reality shows. Granny woke up, but is still dead and has severe brain damage. My son Brutus has now wired his PlayStation 2 into her brain and can move her around with the controller when he plays the "The Dukes of Hazzard" video game. The family is very happy to have her back.
I received the money back from the American Embassy in Watauga. We don't have a Western Union in the area, but I was able to find a Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service in Forney. Spongebubba has an agreement with Western Union to transfer money. I have attached two certificates, one in color - the other in black and white, from Spongebubba that you can print out and take down to Western Union to get the $200. I'm sorry this has taken so long, but it looks we are about to finalize this transaction. Let me know if you have any problem getting the money.
Your Friend Snoop Dogg
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2004 2:49 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Re:Spongebubba International Wire Transfer serviceDear Friend Snoop Dogg,
Thanks for your mail.We have no experience of Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service here in Nigeria but I have instructed my personal assistant to check it out from the western union office here in Nigeria.
I will advise you next after our confirmation.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Thursday, October 14, 2004 7:46 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service
Dear Special Friend Barrister John Williams,
I haven't heard back from you, I hope that you have received the $200 and we can proceed with our transaction.
My wife, Slappy, recently got out of her cage and discovered my correspondence with you on the computer. She is now very upset with me and threatening to sell our children to Discount Tire Company. As a husband, you must understand the difficulties that can occur in a marriage. To settle this dispute I have shaved the right side of her head and locked her cage, but I fear that future correspondence between you and me is in jeopardy. I hope you understand that I am risking great danger by writing to you and I would like to know if it is at all possible for you to register a new e-mail address so that Slappy will not discover our correspondence again. I am afraid that we will not be able to conclude this transaction if you do not get a new e-mail address. Please use a free e-mail address provider, such as Yahoo, to register a new e-mail address and make sure you use the code word "retard" in the e-mail address, such as "retard56t@yahoo.com" or something, just as long as it has the code word "retard", so that I will recognize you. Thank you very much for doing this, the small hassle of getting a new e-mail address will offer us great benefits when we both receive our money and can afford to send our families to prison.
My employer, Homo Partners Inc., LLC, Inc. is the largest manufacturer of prescription nail polish and athletic supporters, and tomorrow we are having a company picnic at the Flock of Seagulls State Park. I am taking my whole family and we are looking forward to a great day swimming in the boiling hot springs, petting the millipedes, tasting the many varieties of laundry detergent that will be on hand, and digging our own graves.
My son formerly known as Brutus, who now goes by the Muslim name MC Hammer is testing my patience as a father with his intents to become a vampire. Why just the other night we were sitting down as a family to enjoy a nice warm pigeon and flamingo legs dinner when he started to suck the blood of his sister, Shania, who now goes by the Muslim name Lil' Kim. I said to him, "MC Hammer, stop sucking Lil' Kim's blood," but he persisted. I then had to get out my magic wand and turn him into a mule. You understand the difficulties of raising children, I'm sure. If only my mind control device were working, except for the fact that I was downloading Windows update for it. As soon as I receive my share of the inheritance money, I will buy a newer mind-control device made with imperial sugar, rather than corn syrup and with Windows XP installed.
Very truly yours truly,
Snoop Dogg
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Thursday, October 15, 2004 7:53 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Spongebubba International Wire Transfer ServiceDear Friend,
Thanks for your mail.I wish to inform you that western union Nigeria has refused to honour any transaction outside western union payment slip.I was unable to receive the money.
Thanks
Messrs John Williams
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Friday, October 15, 2004 5:11 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: Re: Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service
Dear My Friend Barrister John Williams,
I am sorry about the problems you are having at Western Union using the Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service. I contacted Spongebubba to find out what the problem was. They told me that they have made a mistake and did not issue the Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN) correctly to Western Union. Without this MTCN, Western Union cannot release the money to you. Spongebubba said that they will require a photograph of the person receiving the funds with the Spongebubba certificate before they can issue a new MTCN.
Spongebubba said that the instructions below must be followed to create a valid photograph before the new MTCN can be issued:
1) Print out the Spongebubba International Wire Transfer certificate in color.
2) Have the person receiving the funds, in your case your personal assistant Okoye Chijioke Martins, hold the certificate so that the person and the certificate can be seen clearly in the photograph.
3) Take a photograph in color. This should be a large photograph so that the person and certificate have enough detail to verify this transaction.
4) Have the person, sending the money, send in the photograph in to receive a new MTCN.
Please send me this photograph as soon as possible. I will then send Spongebubba this information immediately so they can issue a new MTCN to Western Union and release the $200 to you. I am very anxious to conclude this transaction so we can receive the inheritance funds.
Your Friend Snoop Dogg
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Saturday, October 16, 2004 2:55 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: RE: Spongebubba International Wire Transfer serviceDear Friend Snoop,
Thanks for your mail and explanations.I am sorry to inform you that the proceedures of Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service demanding for my personal assistant photograph in other to carry out their respective duty is completely out of question.
As a matter of fact,I see no reason why the Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service will required all this proceedures before they will issue the (MTCN) number.I am an experienced lawyer and I have done a lot monetary transactions in the past which I have not witnessed this type of processes.
Please do let them issue the (MTCN) or return your money back to you.In western union money transfer which is widely known around the world,this type of protocols does not arise at any circumstances.
I will you to understand that I am a very busy person and I am trying to see this transaction concluded within the shortest time.I will have no more time playing around this transaction.Please kindly give me your father's (Mr Brutus Ray) private phone number or e-mail address to enable me contact him direct to discuss further about this.
Due to the delay which we have incured already in this transaction,I will try my best to proceed to the Federal High Court on monday to swear an Affidavit Of Claim on your behalf with the money I have to enable me scan the copy and send to you with the copies of (WILL) and Death Certificate of the late Mr Allan Bodine.
Thanks again for your kind attention.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Saturday, October 16, 2004 1:41 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: Re: Spongebubba International Wire Transfer service
Dear Barrister John Williams,
I am disappointed that you see so much difficulty in the small task that is required for you to receive the money. Spongebubba has informed me that I cannot get my money returned without this photograph for authentication. I am now out $200 unless you can send me this photograph so I can send this on to Spongebubba for them to issue a new MTCN for you to be paid or return the money to me.
Even though you are an experienced lawyer, it is obvious you are unaware of the heightened security in America after the terrorist strikes on September 11, 2001. All transportation, immigration, financial, etc... are requiring many more identification checks, photographs and verification before transactions are completed.
If you want to cease this transaction I will be disappointed, but will understand. However, I cannot get my $200 back without that photograph. I will give you Brutus Ray's contact info on receipt of the photograph if you wish to conduct business with him.
Snoop Dogg