Week of 2004-10-03 - Week 3
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Monday, October 04, 2004 2:50 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Please treat as urgentMy Dear Friend Reggie,
Thanks for your mail.I am happy to hear from you once again and it is indeed my great pleasure to understand that your retreat was successful.As a matter of fact,I could have secured all the documents before your return from retreat if I have another means to raise the Us$200.
I will like you to understand that my country is currently experiencing economic crises and I am deeply relying on you to raise the little amount of Us$200 and send to me.I have been maintaining my life to ensure that I did not lay my hand to spent the money already with me.
Please try as much as you can to raise the Us$200 and send to me immediately to enable me secure the required documents and send to you while you forward to the bank.As soon as we secure this documents and submit to the bank,I will follow up with the bank immediately to ensure that the release your inheritance claim within 7 working days as they earlier explained.
Thanks a lot for your kind attention while I look forward to receive the informations of the money transfer by your return mail.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Monday, October 04, 2004 7:34 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: Please treat as urgent
Hi My Dear Friend John,
I understand your financial situation with the school fees you had to pay for your children's education. I have been sending Deion to a special school, Harvard University - Gun Barrel City campus, to get special classes for her learning disabilities. Deion has an IQ of -29 which is lower than normal children. I know we both want the best for our children and this inheritance will go to making their lives better.
I'm going over to my father's house tomorrow to borrow the $200. My father is busy practicing for his role as Grand Marshall of the Festivus parade in Fort Worth on Saturday. Fort Worth is a nearby city and is known as the octopus capital of America. There are quite a few wild octopi roaming the streets in Fort Worth, but I've never had a physical confrontation with one yet. However, I have hit a few driving home drunk on a Saturday night. I have since turned my life around and do not drink anymore. I also used to smoke dope, but the preacher at the "Muslim Temple of Aledo" said I needed to stop that as well. I am now a total abstainer from alcohol and dope.
I am nervous about going to my father's house tomorrow. About 10 years ago my father had a terrible accident and got his legs caught in one of his industrial cotton swab making machines. He lost both his legs and now has two wooden legs. When he woke up in the hospital after the accident, he said that he had been abducted by aliens and had his legs removed after an extreme probing session had gone wrong. We know this probably didn't happen, but he is still haunted by these thoughts and has seen a number of counselors to help him deal with this traumatic experience. I am also very happy that my father sold his industrial cotton swab manufacturing company to Apple, since this was just a dangerous profession. Apple is using the cutting edge cotton swab cleaning techniques, developed by my father, to remove metal dust on iPods that could electrocute the user if not cleaned properly. As you can tell I am very proud of my father and hope I can talk to him tomorrow.
Festivus is a very important holiday for my family and myself. I would like to know what holidays are important to you and your family. With your skill and experience as constitutional lawyer and as a legal practicioner, I would also appreciate any advice you have for me on speaking to my father.
Your Friend Reggie
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Tuesday, October 05, 2004 4:33 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Very ImportantDear Friend Reggie,
Thanks for your mail.I truely understand your explanations and I indeed happy with your decission to approach your lawyer to get the Us$200.I am very worried about securing the required documents because I am desperate to conclude this transaction without further delay.
As soon as I receive the Us$200,I secure the documents immediately and make arrangement to meet with you in your country.It will be important for us to meet each other in America to discuss the investment of the funds.I will be waiting to receive the money transfer informations by your return mail.
I called you last night to talk things over with you but your phone was on answering device which I dropped message.Your urgent response will be appreciated.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Tuesday, October 05, 2004 5:50 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: Very Important
Hi My Dear Friend Barrister John Williams,
I received your phone message last night. Unfortunately, Bunnie has made me promise that I would not talk to you on the telephone until this transaction has been completed. Please continue to correspond with me through email.
My father invited me over to watch a "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" marathon on TV last night. I also found out my father is again training for the annual "The World's Strongest Man With Wooden Legs" competition which will be held on the White House lawn. My father was in 5th place last year until he was injured in the "Running With Scissors" event. He is hoping to finally beat the 3 time and current champion - Wayne Newton. I'm not sure if you can receive satellite television, but the event will be broadcast live on ESPN2 on November 19.
I asked my father if I could borrow $200. He asked me why I needed the money and I told him I needed it to buy low carb food for my family. He said he would drive me down to the store in his Rascal limousine, specially equipped for his wooden legs, and buy the food for me. When I told him I preferred the $200 in cash, he said he would not give it to me. I am not sure what to do. He is the only person I know that has that much money. I am thinking about telling him about this transaction so he will know that this money is for a good cause.
I know my father has a lot of money and he owns a big house near Mount Fort Worth overlooking the Artic Ocean. Brutus Ray even smokes those expensive Vietnamese cigars. My mother served us armadillo sushi for dinner last night which I know costs a lot of money. Deion Sanders said she is sure my father will give me the money, but he needs a good reason to do this.
When we meet in America to discuss how to invest the money, I thought the Three Mile Island Resort would be a great place to meet. I've always dreamed about going there, but I have never had enough money. I would appreciate it if you could give me advice on what to do. I know your skill and experience as a constitutional lawyer and as a legal practicioner will help us complete this transaction.
Your Friend Reggie
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Wednesday, October 06, 2004 5:02 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Try your bestDear Friend Reggie,
Thanks for your mail.I have understand your explanations and the reason why you will like all our correspondent through e-mail to avoid Bunnie.I am indeed happy with the faith of your daughter Deion Sanders as she said that she is sure that your father will give you the money.I strongly believe her idea and I pray that God will grant her prayer.
Please with due regards and trust which I imposed on you already,I will advise you to try your possible best to see how to obtain the Us$200 from your father with a good reason.
I will contact American Embassy here to obtain my entry visa to America once we secure the documents.I will continue to pray concerning this transaction and I am looking forward to hear a good news that you have finally raqised the money.
I am hoping to receive the money transfer informations from you by your return mail so that we can proceed further immediately.May God bless you.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
To: Regency Williams
Hi My Dear Friend Barrister John Williams,
Thank you for praying for my daughter Deion Sanders. Now every time Deion Sanders snorts through her one nostril, I think of you. You are truly a respected and caring man.
Are you going to watch the Texas-OU football game this weekend? Fort Worth has a lot of Nigerians here and many have formed a Texas-OU fan club. They usually meet down at the Showplace Lanes bowling alley in Euless to watch the game. The Texas-OU game is held in the beautiful Charles Manson Bowl near downtown Dallas. Last year OU beat Texas 947 - 3. It was a really close game until OU's mascot, Britney Spears, set a world record for the fastest pole vault and scored a 8 point basket in the bottom of the 9th inning. I think Texas has a good chance this year since O.J. Simpson has come out of retirement to lead their offense.
I'm going over to my father's house tomorrow night to apply Thompsons Water Seal to his wooden legs. My father has been upset lately since my Uncle Fester was drafted by the United Federation of Planets and is now serving on the Starship Enterprise under Captain James T. Kirk. My uncle is very smart, his IQ is 3567, and is in charge of alien autopsies under Mr. Spock. They are now on a top secret mission to our base on Pluto and preparing for battle with the Klingons. My father said that the Klingons want to disrupt the space-time continuum, which would cause time to go backwards and turn us into cavemen.
I'm going to ask my father for the $200 again tomorrow and tell him why this is extremely important. My father usually wants to validate the concurrency of these transactions since he very thorough. Please pray for me and ask Allah to give me some cash. Live long and prosper.
Your Friend Reggie
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Thursday, October 07, 2004 7:25 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: Very ImportantDear Friend Reggie,
Thanks for your mail.I will try my possible best to watch the Texas-OU football game this weekend through CNN.I am happy for your understanding and I will continue to pray for Allah to help you secure the money.
I sincerely believe that almighty Allah will let you get the money from your father this time because I will like to receive the money transfer informations from you by return mail.
As a matter of fact,I am deeply worried about your inability to raise the little amount of Us$200 and I wonder if this small money will jeopardise all our effort so far.Please try much better this time to raise to money and send it to me through western union and send the money transfer informations to me by your returm mail.
Please remember to send the money through my personal assistant who's name and address was given to you earlier in my previous e-mail.
Thanks a lot for your understanding while I look forward to receive the money transfer informations from you.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Friday, October 08, 2004 8:28 AM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: Very Important
Dear Good Very Friend Barrister John Williams,
I am happiest that might you have risk look to at Texas-OU football on CNN. Football is critical extremely in Texas and the Texas OU highest on honor to Festivus and people serve them. Deion Sanders possible for eyes to look and contentful that game on view for TV. I myself extremely more excited to peep at collosal O.J. Simpson and rapidly Johnny "The Dishwasher" Cochran for the Texas. Martha Stewart game announce to make better for sponsorship Enron very thrilled.
My father agreed give me $200. He imposed onto I that myself ask of you to send more additional documents so that him feel better about this urgent most transaction. My father most would like for yourself to email copy of your law degree certificate or diploma. Brutus Ray good man, but him no trusting of people strange he met not. Could you email copy of your law degree or certificate to myelf?
I apologize that problem for $200 to get. I will get the money how someway. Thanks understanding to you for yourselfs patience about money not yet got. Allah in past great good for me and myself pray money for to give you. Sorry to you correspondent look most forward onto yourself.
Your Friend Reggie
From: Regency Williams
Sent: Friday, October 08, 2004 9:49 AM
To: Reggie Bodine
Subject: My Call To Bar CertificateDear Friend Reggie,
Thanks for your mail.I truely understand your explanations and I am indeed happy to understand that you have discussed things over with your father and he agreed to give you the $200.
I am worried with the problem we are having this time to raise the small amount of $200.I am also happy that your father Mr Brutus Ray is a very good man.
You should understand that such a document is very vital and needed to be handled with utmost care.In the spirit of honesty and transparency,I am sending to you as attached below my hard earned and many years of learning Certificate Of Call To Bar as a prove that I am a practicing lawyer in my country and also a member of the Nigerian Bar Association (NBA).
I will be looking forward this time to receive the information of the money transfer from you after you receive this my Certificate as attached below.
Yours Faithfully
Messrs John Williams LLB,BL(London)
Principal Partner(Regency & Associates Chambers)
From: Reggie Bodine
Sent: Saturday, October 09, 2004 4:13 PM
To: 'Regency Williams'
Subject: RE: My Call To Bar Certificate
Dear My Best Friend Barrister John Williams,
Thank you for sending your Call To Bar certificate. Brutus Ray feels a lot better about this transaction since this has been sanctioned by the Body Of Benchers in Nigeria. Brutus Ray has not been very easy to get along with lately, mostly due to his brain transplant operation, but seems to be treating people better now.
The Texas-OU game is today and it is a very exciting time. I hope you get a chance to see it on CNN. We are going to have a tailgate party at Charles Manson Stadium and grill our traditional old phone books, basted in a delicious lead paint sauce, and eat AOL CDs and drink Budweiser Raw Sewage Light. Starbucks, the largest maker of asbestos based drinks, is going to be giving away free whale rides in the parking lot with the purchase of any asbestuccino drink.
As you probably know we have a presidential election coming up. In the debate last night President Bush said he promised to push through a constitutional amendment that would ban chicken fried steaks, enhance his "No Cigarette Left Behind" program to make it mandatory for children to smoke in first grade, and make South America the 51st state. John Kerry said he would permit dogs and monkeys to marry each other, promised that underarm deodorants will come in more fragrances, and make Paris Hilton the President of Mars. The vice-presidential contest was held last Tuesday with Van Cliburn beating Boy George in the mud wresting event by a score of 10-7.
Brutus Ray thinks that the split of the 6.5 million dollars is unfair and that we should receive 50%. I explained to him that you have a bunch of papers to file, but he said he will not give me the $200 until we agree to split the money. Would you be willing to give us 50% of the money so can go forward with this transaction?
Your Friend Reggie